Today was a difficult day but a day of confirmation…..a day where God showed me that he is still here for me. Life is not fair…this is certain but look at what our savior went through on this earth…was he accused of something that he didn’t do….was he treated unfairly? He knows how it feels. I wanted so badly today to defend myself….to show the logs that would explain every change in my schedule and every email sent to document communication attempted but I know it would not have done any good….the decision was made….it had nothing to do with me….it had nothing to do with the job I had done….it is political…it is personal….but it hurts Lord….this is a person I thought was a friend….a person I thought respected me….a person I respected…..why would she treat me this way? I don’t understand? She used to be someone I trusted…..and the person who is taking my job….she is supposed to be a ‘good Christian lady….a person that I have referred people to….a person I thought was real….a person who shed tears in front of me….who seemed so genuine…..who looked me in the eye and promised me she had no interest in taking my job….that she was no threat to me…..they claim they are interested in what is best for the kids but they will not even allow me to see the kids for follow up….they want me to see 15 clients for one session each for follow up….enough to tell them that they can either see the new therapist or come and see me at my office…..how is this best for them. None of these kids have transportation to come to my office so I have to sign these kids over to this therapist that stabbed me in the back….without Jesus….it will not be possible…..he was with me today in this meeting….I smiled…asked if there was anything I could do….when I was told there was nothing…I said nothing….when I was told I had been told before about my ‘inconsistencies’….I said nothing…..when I was accused of seeing a kid 3 times in a week when a previous meeting proved that I had only seen her once that week as she had told her teacher she was with me when she was in fact not with me….I did attempt to explain but when I saw the zoned out response…I stopped. It was pointless. I was told that there will be another opportunity….but I don’t know who to trust…..except my supervisor….Dr. Jane…she was there for me….she was very supportive and encouraging….she is the ONLY human in the work environment that I trust…..I will always trust my hubby of course and my LORD….but everyone else….I just don’t know father….I have been wrong so many times. Thank you Lord for my friends and family who lifted me up in prayer…..thank you for your strength and wisdom during this meeting….now help me with acceptance and forgiveness Lord….and trust…..trust in YOU for my future Lord!
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