Murphy

Well here we go.....I've never really done this blogging thing before even though I am a committed follower of many others who have inspired me through their writings.....from Roy Lessin and his wonderful 'Meet Me in the Meadow' to the insights of the Gragg boys and checking out the latest pics of Danny, Will and Drew....even though when I would comment on how much I enjoyed them.....Danny stated that he had nothing to do with the postings....so thanks to Suzy P for the GREAT blog.....it is obvious from all my "dot, dot dots" that I am definitely an amateur.

I wanted to start this journey with a tribute to our boy.....Murphy. Most of you who have known Tommy and I for any time at all.....had a chance to meet our Persian kitty. He was the most awesome cat and I say this with absolutely no prejudice at all...lol. We got him when he was just a few weeks old and just a little guy from a breeder in Morganton shortly after Tommy began to have health problems and had to leave his job at the prison. This was really hard for Tommy as most of you can imagine as he was having this intense, unexplained pain and being put through multiple tests by various doctors in an attempt to figure it out. There was a great deal of pressure on us as a couple as the prison still didn't know we were married and I was still working there as a staff psychologist and every day I missed was scrutinized very carefully as I could not be taking a sick day to help take care of Tommy since he was not 'officially' any relationship to me (at least as far as they knew). I remember once they actually took mine and Tommy's leave days and put them next to each other and compared them to make sure their were no days were we were both out sick together.

Anyway.....it was a stressful time and this little fur ball brought a ray of bright sunshine into our lives just when we needed it the most. He was unlike any cat I had ever had and I had had cats all my life. He wanted to be right with you all the time and he crawled up in your lap and talked to you. He did not like to be in another room so he was always by your side which was wonderful company for Tommy there at the house all day. He was a ball of energy but would also take naps with Tommy and they became the best of friends. I still believe he had a lot to do with Tommy's recovery and our ability to move forward when I found the job at Repay and we were therefore able to be open about our marriage as I left the prison.

That little guy was our joy for 10 years as we celebrated birthdays with him and he took vacations with us. He was truly like our child. I know some people with children don't understand but he was part of our everyday life. We had routines with him. He loved ice cream and would come running when he heard the rattle of paper from a ice cream sandwich. He would come and sit behind you or beside you and wait patiently until you took some of the ice cream and put it on your finger and shared with him. He also loved cheese and we would cut Cracker Barrel cheese up into small squares and he would have 3 or 4 for his early morning breakfast when he got up in the morning. He would go upstairs with us to sleep and he would come up to our pillow at night and then go under cover for a while. He had to be between the sheet and comforter but he wouldn't stay long.....and he had to be between me and Tommy.

He didn't like it if Tommy was on one floor and I was on the other. At times when I was on the top floor and Tommy was on the bottom, he would lay at the top of the stairs which was half way in-between us and sometimes he would stand at the top or bottom of the stairs and cry. He did not like to be left alone. Initially when he would travel, we tried leaving him alone....but we arrived back home only to find him without a voice from where he had cried so much and he left us a nice gift as well. He would get real upset also.....as he would come running greeting us before we would even get the door open and things would be knocked over and such. He was just not a cat that could be left alone. So after that, we would take him to someone to watch him or take him with us. He traveled really well as he would just lay on the seat and go to sleep. He just didn't like going from the house to the car but once he was in the car....he was set.

He loved yogurt....he could hear you open a yogurt container a mile away and here he would come....and he would wait until you were finished so he could lick the container. He was so cute. He had these treats he loved....we got them from the health food store....they were for cats but they looked like cardboard....they were chicken treats....he loved them. He also loved to be brushed....and he and I had this routine where every time I would dry my hair...he would come and wait for me to finish and then he wanted to get his "pickin'" time. I have this little pic I would use to comb him. He would sit on my vanity and pur and give me love....I always intended to video tape this routine because I said no one would believe it....but I never did....I also had a cool kit that my mom had bought for us to stamp his paw print on....I recently found it and had to have a good cry.....I have a picture of the murph posing with it at Christmas. Oh the things we put off till tomorrow.

We didn't even know he was sick. Within 24 hours....he went from fine....to dead.....I still look for him....every morning when I get up.....and every night when we go to bed.....when I have ice cream. I miss that little guy SOOO much!

Sometimes I feel guilty for shedding tears over a sweet little cat.....when I know all the pain that others are going through. Today a lady from my church...well I guess we used to go to church together....in fact we used to attend a women's group together.....anyway....she lost her mom today....I feel so bad for her.....I know how hard that is.....to lose your mom.....there is no one that will ever love you like your mom....except God....I miss my mom every day.....it is only through God's grace and with the love of this wonderful man I am married to....that I get through each day.

And then I think about Sara....Kyle Rusnak's wife.....I cannot imagine what she is going through.....to lose your husband at age 27.....to have only had 2 years with him and to have had to watch him suffer and die in that time.....I don't know you Sara.....not personally.....but you are definitely in my prayers.....your husband was an inspiration....the way he approached his life and death....I pray that I can have that kind of courage when it is my time to go....it's easy to say....oh dying is easy but you know....it would be scary....especially if you were going to be facing pain....I think there is part of me that feels very discouraged about Kyle's death.....you know he was diagnosed about the same time that my mom was.....and I remember asking my mom's doctor about the treatment he was receiving and the doctor said my mom was not a candidate for this treatment because it had already spread to other parts of her body. When I had read about the treatment he was receiving....it was so advanced and new....I really thought he would live....he would beat it....he had such a positive attitude too.....you know....the teacher who took his place...it was like she was always just temporary......I don't know....it's like it didn't matter that he had the most advanced treatment.....and that he was only in his 20's....he still couldn't beat this disease.....

Well....this blog has really been uplifting....ha. I really didn't know where it was going but I knew it probably wouldn't be pretty. I have been doing a lot of grieving lately....Tommy's step mom...Judy passed away this past week as well....and the way that situation was handled was really sad....Judy was a wonderful lady....she had Alzheimer's so she is finally free....not only from her own confusion and fear but from the chaos, anger, and bitterness in her life. Just like Kyle....she has her angel's wings. Praise God!

I know that God has a plan and that Jesus has defeated death when he rose on that third day after he gave the ultimate sacrifice for us on the cross.....so we have nothing to fear and need only to trust in HIM. It is just hard living on this earth without our loved ones, but praise God....we WILL see them again someday!!

And I know what the bible says about animals not having souls....but I am SOOO praying that there were be kitties in heaven....:) and there will be NO allergies!! :)

I hope if anyone reads this....I did not depress them......and I hope you tune in next time because I have some BIG news and it is GOOD news!!!

Have a super day!

Deb